Erm.....

There's a Facebook page for Lord Ganesha. Am I the only one who finds this weird?

Facebook is now the new limit of joblessness

Why?
It's so jobless (and bored) that it's crossed over to ridiculous.
On my facebook homepage, I see that friends of mine have taken the following quizzes:

What kind of currency are you?
Your ideal job.
"What do ur Hands tell about YOU???"
"The impossible quiz"
Dream Job
"Which Disney Channel Star are YOU?" (no I'm serious. Does it get worse? Apparently it does.)
"What city (in India) would suit you best?"
How Many Kids Will You Have?

Yup. They do get worse, by the way.
Then there was that wave of pictures where everyone tagged everyone......You know? those pictures : "every class has them" and all that. Pure inane balderash.

Facebook status updates are a different story. Those are actually quite fun to read. Some of them are well put, some of them are cryptic, some are pretentious. Some are song lyrics, Some are plain irritating.
They should do an exhibit with FB updates....
case in point.
Page one on my friends list goes thus: (I'm using everyone's initials here)

SKDS just had soooo much fun!!! Thanx alot Kristian, Seoula, Vernon, Shaggy, Til n of course PETTO(Terence:)!!!
SM : (8) Jab tak rahega samose mein aloo, tera rahoonga, o meri Shalu (8). Pagalpanti bhi zaroori hai ;). :P.
PP "A LE MENTHE." (wtf does that even mean?)
MB dying to go solo.
DF feels lyk rippin sumthin apart....dunno y??
KUP is completely in ♥ with her new haircut...n im not gonna upload my pics until everyone's seen me on monday...i'll admit,i want the attention....=).
AO ......its jst silence silences..(This is from some poem - its silence silences. I can't remember which one, and that's been driving me nuts)
ID has a Maths exam on Monday. In two words, he's dead. In three words, he's SO dead. In four words, he's so fucking dead. In one sentence, he should shut the fuck up and get back to studying.
AR is takin alota these quizes on fb outta boredom! (so bored??)

Etcetera. You see? I don't think I really have a point to make, I just find it funny. Large cross-section of people and all that. Could be a social experiment, of sorts, sifting through status updates. They may even help solve crimes, that's if anyone's stupid enough to go : (insert name here) dropped bombs at CST today haHA.
sigh.
Facebook is cool, oui... all I'm saying is....it currently seems to be smacking of desperation.
weird, innit?

Not the best beauty aid.........

Ok, I don't know if i've blogged about this before.....i probably have....but this one REALLY takes the cake.
In this time of daily study-related stress, I need a good laugh everyday. So I read the Mumbai Mirror.
More specifically, I read the 'ask the sexpert' column in the Mirror. Every single day.
You get the usual genuine questions about contraceptives and anal and all, but Friday's paper took the cake.

Q: I am 21 years old. I have heard that semen is good for a one's complexion. Should I use it daily, will there be any side effects?
A: Will you open a semen bank, since you will not have unlimited supply? If it was true, I am sure the beauty experts would have introduced it under an exotic name.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the record, todays chem paper was quite ok. I don't have to give anymore of third prelims. So now it's study all the way.
Now reading: just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns, for the second time.
Now wanting to watch: Dev D. desperately.
Now listening: Emotional atyachar, rock version obv.

Some boys.....

Some boys are infuriatingly sweet.
Some boys will insist you do not take cabs alone.
Some boys will drop you home in the rain even if it's wayyyy out of their way.
Who said chivalry is dead?

back to blah-ish

After two crazy weekends, it's back to blah.

of course, the plus-point being that the best friend 1 or something like it is back....

back to the beach, coffee and convo as usual.....
:)
circles closed and convo made good.
:)

and 2ndly, Kay's coming back. the day after tomorrow.

sigh.
:)

the athletics is back, and it's not been going well so far. i ache all over.
:(
something always has to screw up the :) na?

Don't try to convince us. We don't believe you.

Most creative professions have their little challenges, the dark horses, the Everests......the little hates...like Ami on Miami ink hates having to do fairies, I think advertisers must detest doing ads for sanitary pads.
Periods are a pain, period....okay, full-stop. You'd think it's easy to get used to, seeing that it's inevitable and happens every month....but it's not. Fact remains that we hate it and everything about it. Hate PMS, Detest the cramps, and loathe the ickiness...
Therefore, when we're in a state where violence seems rational, we really don't want to see the happy-happy pad ads, all SO untrue.
Most ads seem to say, use our product and you'll be comfy doing anything, playing soccer to climbing gates to running through sprinklers.
Not true. comfort lies not in the brand used, It lies in yourself....
So.."Have a happy period"...??
Not possible. Not even probable. Tolerable, maybe. Happy, no. Not unless your product can stop cramps and PMS and everything else we hate about this monthly show of blood. So keep dreaming.
I wonder if the girls in the ads have their period when the ad's being filmed......
Anyway. No biggie. just the "have a happy period" REALLY pissed me off.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hmm. mess mess everywhere.
now reading: 100 years of solitude, finally.
now feeling: sick. no prizes for guessing why.
now wanting: sleep. and satisfaction with life.

It's not just the good things that leave you speechless....

Stupidity can do it too. For example. The group of 17 year old high school girls in the US who decided to get pregnant ( at 17!!!) and raise their babies together because they thought it'd be cool.
The fact the Delhi, Kolkata and Chennai are participating in the Gay Pride Parade, but Mumbai isn't. I'm wondering why, because Mumbai, well, her personality is such that I thought she'd jump at the chance.....after all, the fact that India is having pride parades marks, well, it's great that we're finally beginning to accept homosexuality and LGBTs for what they are..

The other thing that's left me speechless is the photography exhibition by Raghu Rai. For all you Mumbaikars, it's on till 20th july, at the National gallery of modern art, on M G road.
Dad went yesterday morning, as a punishment for going without me, I made him take me there again in the afternoon.
The hall at NGMA is, well, modern. Beautifully designed, with circular halls and spiralling staircases, making you feel like you're in a giant ammonite.
Raghu Rai's work is sheer poetry, most of it, and I can safely say that he's the kind of photographer I've always wanted to become, this is what I want to do with my life, chronicle the world with a camera.
Walking through the well-planned layout, almost each photo hits you with emotion, emotion that you can clearly see. The sheer volume of crowds, the angles that only an artist's eye can see from, the joy, the sorrow, the contrast offered by a Delhi picture titled "two old men"......His eye sees it all, his shutter freezes it.
On the second floor, a riot of colour, a livid blue wall hiding a Delhi washerwoman, wrestlers at an akhda, and many more. More often than not, his work shows comparisons, contrasts, but whatever it is, it just sweeps you off your feet. Photos that make a poet want to gaze forever and compose odes, make an artist want to reproduce them.
Dad passes a little section without stopping. "I've seen those", he says. "Terrible..." the word trails off.
I wonder why, I stop and look. The fourth photo there is like a punch in the gut, a hand and a child's head, eyeless. The caption reads "Burial of unknown baby, Bhopal gas tragedy". Yet another reads "Abnormal (or was it aborted?) foetus, Bhopal gas tragedy."
I leave, thoughts, words, emotions, pictures, all buzzing through my head. I know that's the kind of work I want to do, that's who i want to become. And off we go, looking at Mumbai with eyes that are now open a little wider.

Why do we instantly fall in love with babies? My sister's baby now has a name. Prerna. Sigh. Now the mother, son and daughter all have names that start with 'Pr' and the poor father remains the odd one out. A beautiful girl, this Prerna. Looks a lot like her mother. Dad was happiest with her in his lap, Prerna, like a little cat-baby, squirming in her sleep with her hands and her mouth moving. What do 13-day-old babies dream of? hazy impressions of their world, clouds? Do they dream? All the house was in chaos, and this sweet, soft baby was just oblivious to all of it.

orkut's going the facebook way with applications. sigh. (PS i still use orkut because it keeps me in touch with Kay.)
And Madonna's 4 minutes is about repopulating the world.
sigh. is everything about sex or money?

Note to self:

Learn something before you go for a physics practical exam.
It is best not to look like a deer in front of headlights during viva.
It is also best not to act half-crazed and scream in shock when your pipette falls and shatters of its own accord (this was in chem)
and it is best not to do a victory dance when you finish your ED model.
Not during an exam.

A Freudian analysis of Sigmund

Sit back and relaaaaax, Herr Freud....It's okay, you can trust me....
I have read your work extensively and have reached a conclusion of my own, however, I'd like to maybe prove it by analysing you and interpreting your dreams...
Herr Freud, I notice that a lot of your analysis has dealings in sexual perversions and illicit sexual relations. To put it rather lightly, you are rather obssessed with the sexual act, one wonders why.
YOu are married I presume?
I speculate.
Perhaps your wife does not pleasure you enough, and thus, with such a lack of sexual activity (let alone perversion) in your life, you phantasize seeing it in the lives of your patients. They may not even be perverse, but you are, maybe not in action, but definitely in thought.
Perhaps you suggested to your wife that you experiment with these perverse and horrific ways of pleasure, and she left you. Ah, definitely a man slighted thus would then long for the pleasure of being perverse and then find perverse roots in ordinary acts. Only such a man would draw an analogy between thumb-sucking and blow-jobs.
Look, Herr Freud, I don't pretend to know much about men, neither about your perverse and horrific behaviour. But I do know that you are a perverse nymphomaniac, if only in your mind. That is why all you see are perverse sexual relationships. Not all dreams have erotic roots. I had this dream last week, where my whole girls' athletic team (except me, I was next..) was brutally massacred by this lady who I used to go to for math tuitions. You may try to say that I was in love with this lady, and these teammates were my contenders, I say, flaff, utter flaff. I have no idea why I have such hilarious dreams.
Not all cases of hysteria or phobias arise due to being homosexual (unconsciously) or being madly in love with one's father and one's maternal uncle. Some dreams are just that, inexplicable.
So, I suggest you spring clean your mind, clear out all that pent-up sexual energy in you. Throw away all the porn and the back issues of Playboy I'm sure you have, and go on vacation, alone, far from the maddeningly sexy crowd.
That ends our session for today.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Utter bull.
Brought on by reading Freud's case histories.
I'm So gonna get bashed by those psych students who follow the Freudian school of psychoanalysis...
(yeah, I do this when I'm supposed to be studying.)

The fine print.....

Found in the Mumbai Mirror classifieds by yours truly......teeheehee.....

"LOVE park get complete relaxation full service of massage trough herbal cream and oil by smart decent, English Spkg,edu.Also well co-operative beautiful Male/Female in 3 to 5 star hotel guest and posh area over mumbai 24hrs service call Boby-9892336282"

Beautiful male/female? creepy, which one?

"International escorts
A to Z service
your search for
be cool and complete
sensuos decent
Young lovingness
&smart M/F
masseurs
get full cooperative
enjoyable
service 24 hrs"

"decent", next to a pic of a rather hot chick in a bikini thing.

Sweet. there are about 20 of these ads out here....for some reason they greatly amuse me...
hehehehehehehe......
mwahahah

Afloat in my mind
Remniscence of songs long forgotten
Fragments of dreams not yet dreamt
Power of dance
Sinuous lines, a picture incomplete
Words thrown together to please me
Eternal, two souls locked together
Wild sexy gothic tango
Sheen of red silk and black hair
One quick motion
her dark blood, so red on her pale skin
mingles and melts into the rain
And so it ends.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

wha' the heck??
hmm.... I throw word together....because i like how they sound that way....
my mind's a blur, that half-forgotten tune in the background, red silk everywhere...
there's a dance.....in some forgotten place.....with roses...the kind with a lot of thorns, I remember....
And then there is the blood washed away with the rain (so fascinated by that line....by that image, really)
But I don't know whose blood it is.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.Vodka.

Back into boredom. I've been practically living at kay's house over the weekend. gotta go do some painting work n all....and i'm so sleepy.
sigh.
i love vodka. it's decided.
and yes, i seem to have a rather low tolerance for alcohol.
i had this one tiny glass of wine......which i didnt like much.....
and then one screwdriver.....rather strongish....which i did like.......a lot.....
yes, but then i got a bit woozy and my head started hurting.
really bad.
and then i got a bit sleepy.
but no, i didn't get all out drunk. i didn't slur, a didn't sing like a crazy person, and i definitely didn't walk funny. ok maybe i did walk *a bit* funny.
but no. i wasn't drunk.
i had complete control of my actions and what i said, and what i did.
so THERE.
and now i'm bored.

The Dark side of me.....

The darkest i've ever been through.
on my guard all the time. can't let the tears fall even though i want to, so much. can't let my hands tremble as i type. can't tell anyone except you.
you're my crutch, my support and i don't like it, one of these days i'll have to cast you away, cut away all the supports and stand on my own at last. but not now. later. tomorrow.
but today i have to put a smile on my face even though i'm shredded inside. can't let the tears flow, can't let myself go. have to step back over the line.
but there will be a day, i'll meet you and then i'll let go and the tears will flow. you don't know how much i need it, you don't see how much you help me, you don't know what you mean to me.......
i have to push you away.....
never been like this before, don't wanna be like this again.
disturbed. the whole house is disturbed. she says she'll take time to get over it, it's not that easy. he says don't let it get to you.
i'm so sorry, so sorry, i'm not just leaning on you right now, i'm falling on you, falling like never before, i'm crazy, psychotic, i wanna go away from it, i wanna be happy. why did i do it? why am i putting all this here fr all to see instead of in the book i bought for this purpose?
i dunno, maybe i want you to see, maybe this is the hand i'm reaching out with.
i don't know what's going on anymore......
the thoughts, the words, they're all just flowing......
i did the best, the longest and the fastest beach run today and i felt better, i felt it all flowing out me.....
felt the coffee flow into me.....i think it's doing this to me.....
why did i do it?
and now that i did it why can't i get over it?
i still don't get why it's so bad, i think, but i feel stained, i feel like i'm marked, what i've done has left scars which will take a million tears, a million beach runs and a million hugs to clear away.
i have to put on the mask of happiness, of the myst that i always am and have been.
i can't break.
just typing and typing, where are the words coming from, is it even helping???
i need you i think, i don't want to need you.
i'm so sorry. so sorry for all the pain i've caused you. so sorry for everything. i'm crying now, but no the tears can't flow and she cant see them, shouldnt se them nobody should.
i think i'm over the line.
this is bad.
i'm pathetic, i'm in self pity, i'm in the self centred thing, why is it always about me me me and my emotions??? i am not my emotions i nee to get out of this. i have to cut the cords i have to let it go away.
make it go away.
why why why can't i step away and leave the emotions and the scars behind?? yesterday i thought it would be so easy to let go but today it's hard, i don't wanna be like this. i don't wanna break i don't want to be weak.
i am not weak.
never ever call me that.
i want to be strong. the tears are going away. my hands type i don't know why. i shouldn't put this up but i know i will.
i have to stop typing.
i have to go away. the more i type the more i'll feel the self pity.
look at the world love, there's people out there in a worse condition than you and they're happy, you can be too.
it's all in your mind pick out the pieces, throw them away.
put it all together.
happiness is coming back.
i'm going to stop typing.
NOW!!!

The mess.

So here it is, my head's messed up like never before.........
too bad to even talk about.........
it's the overflow of yesterday's severe lonliness and todays severe anger and now the pathetic feeling and the...........something intangible or inexpressible.........
Don't worry about me, it'll go by tomorrow.....i hope.
I'm in trouble if it doesn't.

( a line has been edited out here by request of a someone.)

to aiman: thanks. you have no idea how much.

end of transmission. for today.