Home.

Dad's here. Mom's not.

I spend my mornings alone, in a sleepy stupor. With cats. I don't seem to NEED the laptop to be on. I don't need anyone, really.
I sleep. I read. The cats flop around me, fat white furry. I wake up late nights sometimes to see a white mound curled at my feet.
Closest I can get to contentment under the circumstances.

Food. For stomach and mind and soul.

Let it be said that I love food blogs. Well, blog. The Pioneer Woman is as good as it gets. Because she is awesome. And provides step-by-step photos that make your hungry. And she makes it look oh-so-easy, and it is! And this is food with a ton of butter and cheese in everything. Mmm.
Also, Bakerella and her cake pops are adorable.

Meanwhile.

I am studying! Finally! I realise that I tend to stress-eat around exams, like during my 10th grade boards when I baked many batches of very dark brownies and ate them all, or during the end of 12th grade when there always, always had to be mini-croissants in the house, many of them. These days, I make do with whatever's at home. My current way of dealing is forgetting that any time between now and the night of Oct 15th even exists. I'm in limbo. No dates, no days. Just notes. Bed. And whatever food's around. And the images in my head.

I like to be gone most of the time.

It feels like I've forgotten how to write. Or read seriously, for that matter. And since I am currently inarticulate, I can't express just how big a tragedy that is.

I was in Pune a couple of weeks ago. Fun was had. My cousin has not so recently acquired a ridiculously cute looking daschund pup, called Coffee. Look at her, the sweet little thing.

 She hated me. At least, I think she did. After the first day of loving shyness, she attacked my knees every time I went to my cousin's place. *Sigh* I wonder what she smelled on me. Or my jeans.

In other, quite random, news, a friend wondered about Hippo. Why would anyone market a snack as healthy and baked, and then call it Hippo? (she said) Turns out Hippo cares about our hunger :|

 I'm not too fond of monsoon. Mostly because of the rain. And the humidity. And those days when a cab ride that should take ten minutes, takes forty. So you're claustrophobic and nauseous and bored.

To conclude, not that I had much to say, on 2nd July 2010, for reasons best known to myself, I looked like this.

A very epic day that was. 

SNam is in Bombay and I am initiating her. Well, somewhat. Today, I took her to the foodgasmic wonder that is Theobroma. Next week, we shall tackle the Western Railway. And the suburbs. More chocolatey goodness. And then I'll have stuff to write about.

Cheerio.

Too much has happened.

This was two, maybe three weeks ago. It grew out a little bit, and faded.

Post midnight portraiture.

PS. The hoodie's not mine.

In five years, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be that girl who goes to her friend's weddings stag and hangs out sipping Cuba Libres (assuming my tastes don't change for a while) and hitting on hot guys.

Either that, or I'd be burning up the dance floor ( If there is one. NONE of the weddings I've been to have had dance floors. We're a boring family when it comes to weddings) because I love any excuse to dance.

Give us five years, we'll find out which.

Myst needs a modus operandum.

Situation: 'Tis my 18th birthday in a week. Unfortunately, my exams start 3 days after the aforementioned birthday. My best friend (okay, Rushi, ONE of them) is gonna be in town, so I need a plan.

My original plan was to gift myself something. I was going to get tattooed on my 18th, but i'd rather do it with mom's permission.

I currently have no plan. I know I want to be OUT the whole day, which involves me waking up in the morning and not the afternoon, yes. I know I'd like it to be memorable.

And I know I'm on a budget. Kinda.

It doesn't help that I'm relatively new to Bombay and don't always know were to take people out...

I have a beautiful new dress. I don't want to waste it.

So, to the universal forces, and to you people...I say HELP.

Offer your valuable advice. And I will tell you whether it has been followed.

Grey days

It's rained for the past two days. Perfect hoodie weather. I decided to actually DO something instead of sleeping away my Sunday, and that's where the necklace came from. Moonstone and silver. I'm especially happy with the earrings.

I'm even happier with the haircut. I love it so much, I'm still so infatuated with the way I look....everything I do and wear seems so much racier.

For now, i have nothing more to say. The winds are changing...and I'm catching a cold.

Aloneness, solitude and a skewed concept of Home.

Mom left yesterday so now it's just me.

Left here in solitude, aloneness and despondency.

I woke up at noon today, even then I had to drag myself out of bed because I really see no reason to wake up...I mean, what do I DO?

I don't know where to go, and I'm VERY lethargic. I guess I'll end up spending another day, laptop on stomach, reading Transmetropolitan.

Being alone is fine when I'm at home.

This doesn't feel like home.

Home is...

Home is where the heart is? Home is where you hang your hat?

With this whole city changem I'm a bit confused. See, I can call almost anyplace 'home'. I've called my classroom 'home' sometimes. I've used the words 'Let's go home' to refer to hotels over India, and once, I'm sure, even a tent in Manali was 'home' last year.

In Bombay, 'home' can be anywhere. Home is wherever I'm staying the night. We don't have a house in Bombay. When on vacation here, my parents and I shuttle between my paternal family home in Sion and my maternal home in Kandivili. Now that mom's left, I'm staying with my aunt, in Matunga.

Still, Even if I call it 'home', even if the aunt keeps saying 'treat it like home', it's not. Sure, I won't ask for permission before I raid the fridge or turn on the TV or anything, but it doesn't feel like home (yet) somehow.

Home is...I guess home is where I'm comfortable. WHere I can live like I want to, where I can be angry or sad, maybe scream or cry and not feel bad about it. Where there's someone to rant to.

Where my cats are.

I think I'm losing how it feels to live with two cats in the house, and I hate that. I don't want to forget what that's like, living with (albiet emo-tyrant) cats.

All I want...i guess, is a sense of home, something that says, I belong here. In this house. With these people who understand me.

That's gonna take a while.

One week later, the situation is the same. The strike situation, that is. The theatre workshops in college? Those are over too. So now I'm praying even harder for college to start, and FAST.

I've been a bit lethargic and melancholy...I guess a fever-cum-cold-cum infected month-old peircing does that to you....

Mom dragged me to a doctor last week, who sternly told me I was 15 kgs underweight. Pumped me up with all kinda of supplement pills I'm supposed to be taking. This blows. Plus I LOST 4 kgs after I got to Bombay.

So now, I'm quite literally fed up.

C'est la vie, mais ce n'est pas bonne.

Urgh.

I woke up yesterday morning on a blue mattress in the bedroom of Ani's flat. Turned to see Ani fast asleep next to me. How'd I get there? Last I remembered was the living room.....

Ani's surprise 21st birthday party was something we'd been planning for a while. It didn't end up exactly as we'd hoped it would...mainly because she had no idea and had invited everyone for a sleepover the next day. Silly girl.

But yeah, when she showed up, there were 7 of us there, and 21 gifts arranged in the middle of the room. And yeah, she was pretty surprised. And happy. And a wee bit sentimental.


More people showed up later....After she'd inspected all her gifts, and hugged everyone, and been sentimental. We had music, we had people, and we had champagne. And later, rum. And a LOT of biriyani.

It was a good party, yeah. We played 'I never'. And laughed a lot.

And I woke up yesterday morning with the worst headache ever. Staggered out into the living room to see the others who'd slept over....And I was told the stories of the night before.

Conclusion: Myst will stick to two drinks. No more. I don't think anyone who was there is ever gonna let me have ANY anyway.

Many hours later, most of which I slept through, I was relatively better. I will hopefully never be in that state again, because it does NOT feel nice. At all.
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Annie Sharma, I love you very very much indeed. Also, Jai, Nikhil, Aaku, thanks.

Movie Time.

Yesterday was 99.

Today was Angels and Demons.

None of them disappointed.

Please watch both.

more life updates due when I, um, get a life.

lol.

A buch of Bombay updates

I'm learning....
To shorten the strap on my jhola so that it hangs at my waist and not my butt.
Which side to get off the train at Andheri and which side at Dadar.
To cross roads like a mad mosquito.
To wake up late.
That listening to music on the road will one day kill me.
To always, always keep change on me. Always.

It drizzled yesterday. You can't even call it rain. First drizzle. Hit me in the face as I hung out of the train on my way home. That's my nightly pick-me-up...I hang out of the train, as far as I can go, and I sing to myself. The tunes meandering around my head find their way out.

I've found waves and rocks. In Bombay. Bandra bandstand, sitting on the rocks with a friend, gazing over the panorama and the sun shining onto the waves. Crash. Couple haven, how many? Kids. Cat. Crowd. Nowhere close to my bliss-point wall at Shatti. But for Bombay, it's great. And it's close to home. I will be back there. Soon.

I've finally got books. I purr in contentment.

My results are out tomorrow morning. I am trying very hard not to think about this. See, ideally, I wanted to be sloshed the night before the results...but it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen. Tomorrow, Facebook statuses (statii?) all over are going to be either triumphant or defeated, shouting out numbers to the multiverse. My boards passed in a numbness, the moth after that was the most alive I've been. I'm Very Happy now, and I badly want to stay that way.

Bombay calling

And after a year and a half of anticipation and whatnot, I'm finally in Bombay.
It's humid. grrr. I can handle dry heat, I've lived in a country that gets to 45 degrees Celsius in summer. But dry. This is humid. Fans on full blast, sweat running down my back in a most irritating way.
Alphonso mangoes. Lots of them at my place. So it's not just sweat running down me.
I'm loving life. Mom seemed rather amazed that I actually dragged myself to Andheri to meet Rushi just an hour after I got home. Home is Sion, by the way.
"How didja GO??" she asks. "Umm, walk to Sion Circle and then rickshaw." I reply.
"Wow."
What's wow, I ask. No, just didn't expect you to go all the way to Andheri your first day there.
Weird.
But yes, I did do that, I met Rushi, I met Ani, I met Jai, and there was CCD and bad stories and so much laughter that our stomachs hurt. So much.
Home, however, I must get used to. I'm so used to Mom knowing me. Like, knowing not to pay ANY attention when I mutter to myself or grumble in frustration at everything from over-affectionate cats to defunct internet connections.
But Mom's not here, I've got my grandmom and my aunt who constantly ask what I want, and tell me to lower the volume or no, that mango's a little spoilt, take another. I've told them that it is essential that they: 1. Do not worry about me, just leave me to my own devices. 2. Pay no attention to my mutterings. Because I am indeed muttering a lot these days. Lol.
But yeah, it's good out here despite everything. And it can only get better. So cheers to me and all.

And it's back to the tiredness. Suddenly I realise I have exactly two weeks to leave. This time next-to-next Wednesday I'll be in Bombay. Melting in a little puddle in the heat, by the sound of it.

I'm spending my time, watching as many brilliant movies as possible before I leave. Old classics. Old faithfuls. Must-watches. Yesterday was Domino. Heads you live, tails you die. Before that was Luck by Chance. And before that, Cruel Intentions. Sadly, a censored version. I must add that movie to my collection, it has a beyond brilliant ending. Set to well to Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve.

I've got my songs. New songs, old songs. I'm in love with Lily Allen's lyrics. People, if you haven't heard The Fear and It's Not Fair already, go, youtube, NOW. And thanks to the omniscient www.songs.pk, I have my old faithfuls from Teesri Manzil. And thanks to Limewire, I have ABBA. All I need is an iPod. Or an mp3 player with BIG memory.

And thus my life goes on. Drifting in the currents of time for another week. Then it's Dubai. Then home again. Then goodbye.

Till then, I drift.

Tired.

Yes I'm tired.
My long lazy mornings have been replaced with work.
My mom works at the Centre for Special Education located in our school campus, I've mentioned this before. When my exams ended, I'd asked her to call on me if any of the classes were short-handed.
Two weeks into my vacation, just when I was settling into the lazy morning routine, she tells me I'm needed.
So I start at Maushi's class, cluelessly teaching 3rd grade math to kids who are bout 9 or 10. But Maushi's class always has more than enough help, so I switch to Tina's class.
Tina's class has about 7 kids, 6 of whom are autistic, 1 of whom has behavioural problems.
Mornings are taken up by language classes, where everyone goes to the front and answers questions about themselves...with a lot of prompting.
Then Tina has a different lesson every day, yesterday it was fruits, the day before that it was opposites. Heavy and light, big and small.
Then is break (by the time all this is over, it's 10.30) and all the teachers and volunteers settle down to chat as the kids eat.
After that starts work for me. Functional academics. Like, English, Math and all. Really simple stuff. But with these kids, you never know. Sometimes they work fast. Sometimes it takes an eternity, They stare blankly at you while you prompt and prompt and in your head you're begging them to tell you the answer because they KNOW it and you KNOW they know it......
But it's fun work. It's better than uselessly lying around at home.
A couple of days ago, I had to use these foam shapes to teach math to someone. They were rather tempting to play with....

Meanwhile, yesterday was mom's birthday. We normally try new restaurants on birthdays, this time we landed at a place called Kargeen, very well known, but none of us had ever been there, because we thought it was mostly arabic food and sheesha.

Yeah right.

Firstly, it's a beautifully done outdoor place, almost like a fantasy at night, with glass lanterns and strings of lights, a fountain and trees. The food is OUT of this world. I ordered a Philadelphia sandwich, Mushrooms and cream and onions in a baguette, and had a tough time finishing it, it was so so so good....

I must go back there sometime...

wowie.

Also meanwhile, I'm reading Doctors by Erich Segal. Read it, it's brilliant.

And I say to myself....

What a wonderful world.

It's been raining these past few days. We even had a cyclone warning, it never showed up. Yesterday....Was brilliant, sitting on the balcony wall of a friend, enjoying the smell of freshly rained-on mud and watching the thoughts whizz through my head while everyone else played PS ganes indoors. Splashing around in the pool, trying to remember swimming classes taken aeons ago. Movie marathon and pizza, cuddled up to myself in a sofa.
And I'm contented again. The day before yesterday seems so long ago.

OHMAGOD I LOVE MY LIFE.

It's been two days.
On the 21st, we went bowling and then to McDonalds. And Baskin Robbins.
Yesterday, Jan, Vagi and I went to the beach. And Starbucks. And then back across the beach.....walked a little bit, got some sexy shawarmas (Vagi was craving) and then made it back to Shatti Plaza in time for the 7.30 show of Slumdog Millionaire.
I don't care what Amitabh Bachchan or the critics say......it was a great movie.
Today morning? Party. Lucky's b'day treat. Pizza Hut and Starbucks. YAY! And in the evening I went over to Anyu's to have the much postponed catching up. Went to the vid store, guess who i see? Vagi! So I ended up at HER place (Anyu had to go home) and got picked up from there.
It's been two days.
I'm here for a month.
If every day is going to be this busy...I'm going to be in sheer bliss.

Full Circle

With this, my blog has travelled a full circle from where I started. I started......in a fit of sheer boredom the day after my 10th board exams. I'd wanted to get out of the house, my friends had wanted to sleep. I needed somewhere to vent. So I started this place. Didn't know what I was getting into.
Ever since then, this blog has been like....a platform, an escape. I've vented here about countless exams, friends, love, and stuff that irritates. I've tried to actually write, to be funny. I've put up photos and a bit of artwork. I've made friends. Quite good ones. And, as you'll see if you've been jobless enough to read this right from the beginning, I've kind of grown as a writer...and a person. I'm pretty sure I feel less like a stupid kid than I did back then.
My life has practically turned around ever since I started writing here. Back in 11th, I was depressed because my friends had moved away...back in 11E we nudged into a mishmash gang of sorts, but we weren't really that close until 12th. We were the proverbial backbenchers who loved physics, struggled through chem, sailed through math and slept through English. (our teacher was soporific. Most classes sleep in class when they're bored, when we were bored in English we did the assignments.) Sneh, Sriya, S, Anki, RoshKesh, Snoopy, TT and me. We were the original "8 of us, you know, our gang" at the beginning of the year. Since then, this has expanded to include the Kashmiri, Jo, Jan and Vagi. Friends indeed.
The last year of school. I was captain. And I can truly say it was a year I'll never forget. Stressful, yes, very. But I still enjoyed every moment and I don't think I'll ever regret anything I've done these past two years.
Till now, yes, it's been predicted. I stayed here and did science and gave my 12th boards. From here, who knows? The circle has been drawn, now my life will go off on a tangent.... I think my destiny will lead me to Bombay.....I just have a very good feeling about that place, and I know that living there will change me forever and actually give me that sense of responsibility and independence, and help me be who i really want to be.
Till then...I have a lot of stuff swirling in my head, it's all gonna pour out here.
So cheers to me! Long life ahead and all that.... Love you all.
-Myst.

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHM

That was the compulsory yell. For an actual version, feel free to call.
MY BOARDS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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I have a lot to say, a lot to write, lots of ideas, etc....but all that starts tomorrow. Today, today is just the sheer joy and scream of boeing out of High school and science for-fucking-ever.