Beyond the Frame

Note: Credit for title goes to SNam.

Sitting at my usual booth in the bar earlier tonight, watching, waiting for someone worth my attention to come in, I saw her.

She was perched on a bar stool, so tall that her toes just skimmed the floor. Her black dress stopped at her knees, giving me a glorious view of a pair of perfectly arched legs, ending with the trademark red soles of her black Louboutin stilettos. Her hair was piled up in a messy chignon, and above the collar of her coat, I could see the beginnings of a tattoo on the nape of her neck.

Indeed, this woman was intriguing. So intriguing, in fact, that I lacked the courage to go over and talk to her, at least immediately. I nursed my drink and watched her.

The bartender smiled at her and put a mug of beer in front of her. I saw her reflection in the bar mirror smile back at him before taking a long sip of her drink. You don’t see too many women who like beer…this one was definitely my type, and as the minutes ticked by, I stared, fascinated. She put the mug down, leaving a perfect scarlet lip-print on the rim. That would have made such a wonderful photograph…that beer mug, with froth spilling down the side of the glass, and that immaculate lip-print. A visual treat, hinting at something beyond the frame of the picture.

That’s it. In five minutes, I thought, I was going to go up to her and say…what? I didn’t know. Something smooth and charming and witty. I’d make it up on the spot.

As I gathered the remaining shreds of courage, watching her, a man walked up to her. I was transfixed, I couldn’t go there till she had finished with him and (I hoped) turned him away, could I? I sat in my chair, melting in a puddle of my own cowardice. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

She turned to him, and said something, so soft I just barely caught the words….

“You’ll have to pay me in advance”

He slipped her a hundred dollar bill, which she hastily stashed in her coat pocket. Then she gulped down the remains of her drink and eased herself off the stool, taking his hand.

As they walked out the door, my heart shattered into a million pieces.

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I haven't written fiction in a while, so my apologies if this is a bit...shaky. It comes from me trying to do justice with words to an image in my head.

Readying herself for bed, Juliet heard a sound

T’was the feet of brave Romeo, hitting the ground

From the wall into her orchard he has jumped

Adrenalin and love his systems have pumped

He opens his mouth, delivers a dose of sap:

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief,

That thou her maid art far more fair than she:

Be not her maid, since she is envious;

Her vestal livery is but sick and green

And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.

It is my lady, O, it is my love!

O, that she knew she were!

She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?

Her eye discourses; I will answer it.

I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat her eyes

To twinkle in their spheres till they return.

What if her eyes were there, they in her head?

The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,

As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven

Would through the airy region stream so bright

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!

O, that I were a glove upon that hand,

That I might touch that cheek!

Ay me, thinks Julie, what do I say

This silly Casanova will not go away…

“Tis thy name that is my enemy, you cannot have me.

Oh, don’t protest, together we cannot be”

Says the emo Romeo, “Then if it is so

To the afterlife I will have to go

First I leave Rosaline, then I lose you

I now know what I have to do”

He shed a tear, and drew his sword

He slit his throat and thus kept his word.

Juliet she stared, and then gave a little shrug

The poor little chap must have been on a drug

Then she went back inside, before her mirror she did preen

For the lace-clad lover in her bed, her fair Rosaline.

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Just something I was trying out. Yes, the 'sap' IS lifted directly from the balcony scene. Please do not bash me for 'destroying' one of the greatest ever love stories. Literature is free to interpretation and all that.

On a slightly darker note, college has resumed, after them exams and that teeny break. It's a royal pain trying to wake up in the morning.

Finally. Finally

"They're decriminalising homosexuality!", I told mom a few days ago.

"What, it's illegal?" she asked.

Well, not anymore. The Delhi high court has finally legalised private consensual gay sex between adults. The gay community is rejoicing. And of course. Society is still slowly assimilating homosexuality, but at least gay people don't have to worry about breaking the law anymore.

It all boils down to this I suppose, our deep rooted distrust, suspicion, fear, of people who are in some way different. Why should gay people be treated any differently? In fact, you can almost say that their hearts are more open than others...We (at least I) don't discriminate between religion and race when it comes to love. They don't even discriminate against gender. And thus I say that Gay people, bi people, have large hearts. It's all about love. The sex, that comes with the love.

And, well, if it's just lust, you can't help who you're attracted to. You don't choose who you're attracted to, do you?

Religious groups all over India fail to see this (they're all about the sex, you see?)

Taken from the Hindustan TImes articles about the desicion, the following quotes. You can almost SEE the disapproving faces, hear the condemning tones. These people just DON'T see the love, do they? Can LOVE ever be unnatural? And when it comes to the sex, some things that people are into are very kinky indeed (bondage. Sado-masochism.) and THAT'S not illegal. (Ok I think I lost my point here.)

Swami Ramdev says that homosexuals need to be hospitalised.

Kamal Farooqui of the Muslim Personal law board says that no Muslim in the world, let alone India, can ever support it.

The president of the SGPC has said that homosexuality is disgraceful and takes you away from the path of God. Um, how exactly?

Look, people. Has GOD ever said anything against homosexuality? I'm sure MY God hasn't. He believes in being yourself. And gay, it's not something to become. It's not a CHOICE. Religion, mind you, is a product of man. And therefore, like ALL products of man, it is flawed in this case.

It all boils down to our refusal to accept anything that's different. Anything.

THEN there are the arguments that say that this is against our culture. But what use is a culture that is static? Society and culture are constantly fluctuating to accept new ideas and discard the putdated ones. Buhleeve you me, if 'culture' was static, girls wouldn't be allowed study. In THIS day and age. YEAH.

Chief Justice Ajit Prakash Shah of the Delhi high court ruled over the judgement. THAT is the kind of legal body we need. These are the people we need to run our country. We can absolutely NOT stick with old biases.

I'm gonna end with a question that I hope someone will answer. Delhi, Chennai and Bangalore held the Queer pride Parade, both last year and this year.

Why not Bombay?

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PS. : I know I'm probably too young to be writing about such issues. But this is one I feel very strongly about. There is nothing unnatural about being homosexual, bisexual, transgender, straight whatever. I feel that everyone should be allowed to express themselves freely, that they shouldn't have to be ashamed of who they are. Whatever it is that they are.

Farewell to a new beginning??

"That doesn't make sense!" S said as he looked up from my farewell invitation card during board-prac-week. "I mean, what the hell??"
No, we told him, it's like, Farewell *cheers* to a new beginning!! Like a toast.
Aah.

After two-or-more-weeks of roaming around with the Farewell on the brain, it was finally here. Yay and all that. Saris were draped, hair was combed, fingers were crossed, I even went very out of character and bought blue eyeliner! And we just prayed that the 11th graders would give us a better farewell than what we gave our seniors.

So I get to school to find that out of our girl-gang, only Snoopy's turned up, looking all 80's style diva fab in a black sheer sari with big hair. Then I find Vagi (short for Vagina, that's my nickname for her, how it started is another -entirely clean- story*) in pale blue chiffon, and she's actually listened to us and let her hair down. And Jan, in pink. With a haircut. After the usual eye-sweep pver the crowd, who's wearing what, etc, we made our way into the hall and found our seats. Sneh etc finally turn up and we proceed to enjoy the great show the 11ths put on for us.
There were the usual songs, dances, and a special dance by two of the council guys to an 'emotional song'....tu cheez badi hai mast mast.....which has us, well, me, rolling in laughter.
We were uncharacteristically effervescent, excited, obviously, at being together again after so long......Basically we went mad, cracking bad jokes, passing comments, screaming our throats out.....

I didn't tear up. I didn't get nostalgic. I didn't get all emo. And now, I really wonder why. I mean, I've been in the same school for 12 years, and it's made me who I am now.......I guess it hasn't really sunk in yet...

Then the school awards........pretty cool, really, Snoopy won Miss Genius, I won Miss talented, so all happy-happy.
Unfortunately the pic they flashed on screen for the nominations, that was the passport photo i took two years ago. Where I looked like a guy. Not even androgynous. Shit. I got a lot of ribbing about that.

All too soon, it was over and it was picture time, clickclick!!!
And then we split, sneh snoopy anki subin went bowling, I went to the Farewell after-party woth Jan, Vagi, S and Rak.
And then when we get there I found out that two of the girls I went with are suddenly part of a couple. And plan to spend the night cozying up the the other half of their respective couples. And Jan wasn't in a dancy mood. And I was.
So I danced. Under the neon lights (which made anyone wearing bright colours look like a traffic signal) and the psychedelic-y posters, I danced. I danced alone, then I danced with the girls from 12 A, I danced with RK, and then when my feet hurt, I watched the couples on the floor, not bothering with the music or the beat, just happy to be with each other. Got a bit lonely (so what's new...), went and sat with Jan, had a little heart to heart about her situation and all, laughed at the glo-in-the-dark-couple (Vagi was wearing white, so was the other.) then did the wise thing and spent credit international messaging a friend in Bombay. Who was mercifully awake at that time. Thanks luv, you made my night. Well, a quarter of it anyway.
And then I danced again, alone, with my eyes closed, clowing, fluorescent, letting the music and the lights wash over me, I danced like no one was watching.

And now it's all over. Now there is truly nothing left for me this year. Except for those pesky exams. And the study study.
So as usual I say, My presence here will be erratic.

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* the Vagina story, you say? well, she addresses me as 'Bum', so one day I went one step further and nicknamed her Vagina. So now she's my Vagina. See, even my vagina has a vagina!
ok that was a little too much.

Not the best beauty aid.........

Ok, I don't know if i've blogged about this before.....i probably have....but this one REALLY takes the cake.
In this time of daily study-related stress, I need a good laugh everyday. So I read the Mumbai Mirror.
More specifically, I read the 'ask the sexpert' column in the Mirror. Every single day.
You get the usual genuine questions about contraceptives and anal and all, but Friday's paper took the cake.

Q: I am 21 years old. I have heard that semen is good for a one's complexion. Should I use it daily, will there be any side effects?
A: Will you open a semen bank, since you will not have unlimited supply? If it was true, I am sure the beauty experts would have introduced it under an exotic name.

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For the record, todays chem paper was quite ok. I don't have to give anymore of third prelims. So now it's study all the way.
Now reading: just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns, for the second time.
Now wanting to watch: Dev D. desperately.
Now listening: Emotional atyachar, rock version obv.