I'm still watching.

I'm in the process of learning how to shut the fuck up. Thus, I am now mostly here.

I don't promise I'm any better. 

Vomit.

I will vomit memories. 

Words.

Things that were said.

Things in my head.

Bad poetry.

Out on paper.

I will purge.

Visions.

Moments.

Sounds.

Feelings.

Blacken, blanken.

Clean out.

Walk away, start over.

(And the paper holds it all, leather-bound.)

#DearYoungSelf

That's what's trending on twitter today. These are mine.

RT @mentalexotica: #dearyoungself you are cooler than you think you are.


RT @BBlessy: #DearYoungSelf Thank you for reading everything you could get your hands on. No, really. <3


RT @BBlessy: #DearYoungSelf, Take it easy. The debauchery will come. And how.


#dearyoungself We both know you can't and won't do a science undergrad, but you're going to miss physics and math.


#dearyoungself Your parents decided never to argue in your presence. There will come a time when you'll appreciate the magnitude of this.


#dearyoungself Make exceptions to your rules.


#dearyoungself don't let anyone let you think less of yourself.


#dearyoungself Good call, quitting the IIT coaching. RT @parapraxist: #dearYoungSelf engineering, REALLY??


#dearyoungself YOU HAVE NO ISSUES YOU IDIOT. Deal with it.


#dearyoungself Always, always trust your instincts.


#dearyoungself talk to your dad more. Really.


RT @parapraxist: #dearYoungSelf nothing was really worth it. No, really.


RT @Sunneith: #dearYoungSelf Your mission: Travel to Canada. Kill Justin Bieber's dad.


---------------------------------------------


Them that I have RT'd are people you should be following, if you're on twitter. That is all. 

It gets better.

Azaad Bazaar shared this lovely video, and I thought I'd reshare. Because, it does get better.

Maldives: Day six

My lovely blue ocean vacation is over. All different shades of blue, now only in my mind. A lovely blue bubble.
Grey bombay, here I come. Back to constant connectivity, turmoil of the mind, and everything that is opposite of peaceful.

Maldives: Day Five

Hassan, the very sweet water-sports instructor, took me out for a gratis snorkeling session today, at a reef a five-minute swim away. For an hour, yes, and I saw SO much. Two turtles, many, many parrotfish, an eagle ray, clownfish, some trippy looking trigger-fish, and oh, lots more. It was all very blissful, and incredibly tiring.
I have a painful sunburn. My whole back has gone sepia.

Maldives: Day Four.

Dear J,
I am sitting out on the deck of the coffee shop/bar, wearing tiny shorts and a huge top. I have in front of me a lovely goblet of coffee with Kahlua in it. The sunset is, sadly, covered by trees, and I don't want to move as I only just got my coffee. It's delicious.

J, I've been away from the internet for four whole days, which is more than has happened in a long time. I have completely dropped off the radar. No phone, no internet, nothing. Unplugged.

I only wish I could unplug my mind. 

Oui, it is all erased here, by the wind and the waves, but I fear it will hit me worse than ever when I get back. But. One can't only live in fear, eh? The only connections I have right now are in my head, to people I'm writing to. Though if I want total solitude, even that's cheating.

This place, filled with couples. Of the younger ones, the women are mostly drop-dead gorgeous, and the men are, well, not. Though there are exceptions. Afternoon seems to be photoshoot time. All the bikini-clad ladies (I've only seen one one-piece swimsuit here) go posing, the men get shutter-happy. Can't help but think we'd have laughed our asses off. 

Waiters here are always delighted to hear I'm Indian. They don't get many Indians here, said the waiter who collected my coffee.