Monday, 26 January 2009

THIS IS NOT ME

She was trembling.

She'd always wanted to be a journalist.

An artist, maybe. A photographer. But mostly a journalist.

She wanted it so bad, it actually hurt.

She couldn't wait for college, when her life would begin.

She was a science student.

She sat on the stairs, shivering, revising for her last ever Chem paper.12th std Boards. The exams that 'decide your life'.

"I'm gonna change streams after boards. I'm gonna do well, I'm gonna do a BMM, and I'll be so happy....."

It was almost her mantra.

She stepped into the exam room.

Put her bag away.

Wished her friends luck.

Waited.

Waited.

The question paper landed on her desk.

She scanned it feverishly....

Tears welled up in her eyes.

"what the..."

She put one hand in her pocket, raised the other to go to the washroom.

They found her dead in the first floor bathroom three hours later.The note was scrawled on the floor in ballpoint pen.

"I would have flunked.....And i was too scared to come so close to everything i'd ever wanted and then lose it. Sorry."

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wrote this a coupla days ago in deep stress-panic. The whole story had just ploked into my head, i wanted to get it outa my system.

It kinda freaked me out. But it's quite good, as a short-fiction, so it's up here.

10 comments:

Manmeet Singh said...

nice blog and great stuff to read.

Fixated said...

Freaky!
I love your layout. Nice writings.

The Footloose Doll said...

When I started reading this, a voice in my head kept chanting, 'this is SO me.' And then after a point it stopped being me. Because my 12th Chemistry paper was good and I changed my stream after school.

Still this freaked me out.

Sakshi said...

freaky... I agree...!!! You have a great imagination...!!!

InExile said...

ha ha ha
i love the title !
this is not me

ki said...

Okay.
Calm down.

This may not be you but you obviously have a lot going on in your mind, huh?

It'll get better. *hug*

futomaki said...

ooh nice fiction there.. anticipation and then, silence. But ballpoint pen on the floor?

The Dude said...

it is a good story, and sadly an all-too-real feeling that brings an ugly part of life to the fore - but then that is the purpose of the writer and the journalist (at least it was meant to be), to raise questions and try and find answers to the things that people dont always want to face. To make people see it and think, hopefully to work toward a day when that will not be a problem anymore.
dont lose heart and dont be afraid, what will be will be - just do your best and know that things go their own way and you may not always do exactly what you plan, but you will do what you should or be where you are meant to be.
cheers.

Mystique said...

2 MS: thengyoo

2 fixated: Thanks, layouts @ pannasmontata.com

2 Footloose Doll: and i hope it goes the same for me....

2 sakshi: thanks....

2 inexile: it's titled that for a reason.....

2 ki: yes, there was a lot in my mind.
and thanks. a lot.

2 futomaki: thanks....and yeah, ballpoint because that's my current writing instrument of choice. and blood would be too cliche.

2 dude: wow.

The Dude said...

anytime.