Thursday, 24 January 2008

Afloat in my mind
Remniscence of songs long forgotten
Fragments of dreams not yet dreamt
Power of dance
Sinuous lines, a picture incomplete
Words thrown together to please me
Eternal, two souls locked together
Wild sexy gothic tango
Sheen of red silk and black hair
One quick motion
her dark blood, so red on her pale skin
mingles and melts into the rain
And so it ends.

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wha' the heck??
hmm.... I throw word together....because i like how they sound that way....
my mind's a blur, that half-forgotten tune in the background, red silk everywhere...
there's a dance.....in some forgotten place.....with roses...the kind with a lot of thorns, I remember....
And then there is the blood washed away with the rain (so fascinated by that line....by that image, really)
But I don't know whose blood it is.

10 comments:

Truth Junkie said...

Nice....

Really...

I like!!!!

NO jokes here surprisingly...

I really like....

taurius1 said...

HM.... blood washed away in the rain. It's a nice image. The last time I tried to work on that, it didnt work out as well as I hopped it would. Maybe I'll try it again this weekend. ^_^

Cheers!

Classicallymild said...

Predominantly blue, its based on Mystique

Sweet,

A.

Wells said...

:)
like the blood part.

akshay said...

Smells like anachronistic spirit...

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

uh-oh, um, dark.

"her dark blood, so red on her pale skin
mingles and melts into the rain"

loved that part!

akshay said...

Honestly though, this is just plain too weird for people like me who think in more concrete terms. I'm not saying your poetry is bad, heck, I can't judge (I have a very limited perspective), but eh, maybe you could make it a little bit more explicit next time.

Mystique said...

2 aiman: well thank you, thank you very much.but then again....blood, confusion, gothic tinge. you'd like it.

2 taurius: yeah it kinda haunted me.

2 the mild one: huh??? thanks anyway....

2 wells: strange, everyone's focusing on the secretion of bodily fluids here....

2 akshay: (looking up anachronistic).....

2 monique: yay!!

2 akshay: did i even say it was poetry???? nah, it was just a random arrangement of words, induced by a song, that chose to float in my head and settle here.

taurius1 said...

Nice sounding phrases are good only when you can tell the story behind it effectively. I read what you wrote like 5 times over before I let myself think about what kind of images you must be conjuring up in your head. I get frustrated when i can't frame nice words and phrases into something with a definite metre. I spent three whole days writing a poem around the phrase "point a gun to my head, paint the walls a crimson red..." ^_^

bluebutterfly said...

excellent "arrangement of words " i say ...
the blood washed away my the rain does conjure up a image in my mind ... and with it come thoughts ....
but nice work .... and now my mind is working overtime suggesting me phrases which could go well with "the blood washed away in teh rain"