Saturday, 4 April 2009

Voices in my head

They have no names, after all I'm not schizophrenic.
They come out when I'm alone, in mind and body, and they talk.
Monologues, Dialogues.
A running commentary on how I look and what I'm doing.
Like parallel mirrors. On and on and on.
Sometimes they drive me crazy.
Look at her, they say. Walking along the shore with the water caressing her bare toes.
They're talking about me, the voices.
Sometimes they make my mouth move.
It looks like I'm talking to myself.
Like parallel mirrors, they reflect themselves.
Talk about themselves. Narcissist voices.
They have no names, say the voices, after all I'm not schizophrenic.
They disappear like wisps of smoke when I meet a group of friends.
And they creep back into me when I'm alone to think.
Sometimes they drive me crazy.

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This is literally what happened the other day. Sometimes my head is so full of voices, it feels like it'll burst. What I've written above...came to me almost verbatim the other day, while I was on the beach. The voices, I tell ya. Then as I got onto the road off the beach, I met a whole bunch of the ex-10th graders, and all the voices fell silent. Almost as if they were never there.

8 comments:

Akshaya said...

hey......interesting!! but ur the person who is not suppossed to care....right ...sure it complicates matters when the comments come from within you ....

Mystique said...

echh. Ah well, they're just the voices. Sometimes they're nice to me, but sometimes they really DO drive me across the line into insanity. eurghh.

Jack said...

Mystique,

One's subconcious is always at work. Dreams are a result of that. When one is alone thoughts which are going on without knowledge take shape of such dialogue. You seem to be absorbing lot of happening or things in your subconcious memory.

Take care

Pulzkit said...

call me mundane, but either you are exaggerating or you need a doctor.

Nice poetry though. really nice, especially the bare toes part.

Espèra said...

I hear voices too. But they're always mine. It *is* like talking to myself I guess.
Sometimes, there's a dialogue too. My attempts at trying to think from both the sides?
Maybe.

Antigone said...

I've rambled about this before.
It's your Anima and Animus, as Mr. Jung liked to call them.
As Jack said, they're your own thoughts taking shape of dialogue, governed by your own pre and sub-conscious experiences and schemas that define your responses to the environment. They may not have any distinct characteristic(deepness, loudness, etc) and may not conform to any standard of speech, but the moment you're conscious of them, you think they come into focus and attain those characteristics, but in fact, it is you, yourself who is assigning those traits to them.
And yes, everyone can hear them(ying and yang of reason) and they don't even know it. They're present with you all the time, you're not aware of them when you're in the company of others, bu they guide you in interactions as well. They're YOU.

C.J.Duffy said...

Glad that I am not alone and that there is another out there who talks to his imagination, his creativity, his muse. They can irritae though can't they?

As for the X-men...you are prettier.

Mystique said...

2 jack: aha.

2 pulzkit: or maybe both....

2 espera: maybe....

2 antigone: aaaaaaaaaaahhhh wow that explains a LOT. thank you!

2 CJ: well, the x-men waali mystique is BLUE.....