Sunday, 2 March 2008

Out!

So sick, I tell ya.....
So here we are, back again, being that girl I hate. I'm so Sick snd Tired of this state of mind I tell ya....
Sick of not knowing what or who I am....I've lost it I say...
I thought I was doing pretty okay, you know? I thought I was reasonably happy, but no-oo, it's back, all the crappy feelings, all the uncertainty, all the......the.....word, dunno what to call it, it's all back.
She's right, I think, I need to grow up, in every way.
She's right, I shouldn't lose my level.
She's right, my thoughts are scattered and sometimes it's downright irritating.
Oh god, these mentors of mine, I find them everywhere, but they speak so much and it makes so much sense but then it all melts away, somewhere. I'm lucky to have them. I'm lucky to have everything I need.
Damn my back hurts.
I wish I could put into words what I'm thinking, but I can't.

4 comments:

taurius1 said...

You don't always have to put it in words. Good friends are with your even when you're unable to say anything... :) Just wait for the clouds to pass.

five_silver_rings said...

Honey, I know what you are going through. Trust me, been there, done that... and honestly, I am 'still' in that incurable state of uncertainty. Childish? Wow, you're like my twin. I am twenty, and I still am considered the Tantrum Queen. My thoughts are 'scattered' all the time... Hmm, and I thought I was the only one experiencing this.

plzdonttrythisathome said...

so you always want to be euphoric..? and ur sad if you arent.. ok thats normal i guess..childish i the king of that me thanks to my younger brother...

Espèra said...

Is it depression? Try putting into words why exactly you feel this way.
You mayn't be able to. But, try.