Wednesday 6 April 2011

Halfway.


One day, he finally snapped.

He was tired. Tired of trying so hard not to mope. (For other people’s sakes more than his own. If it was up to him, he’d settle into a seat with a drink and glare at the universe till the end of eternity.) Tired of being the one at parties with the blazing eyes and the sad smiles. Tired of having to remove himself from company so he didn’t upset the ones who loved and worried about him. But most of all, he could not anymore handle being around his girlfriend (he couldn’t bring himself to think of her as his ex, no, not even six months later) who 
would not have him back.

So he left.

He packed everything he truly needed into a small backpack. Many books to read, a notebook to write in, a pen to write with, and music to save him. A photo of her.
He walked. For hours, days, he didn’t know. He walked till he had run out of thoughts. That was when he saw the house.

The sign on the gate said ‘Here live those whom love hath taken away’. He looked at it for a long time. Observed the quaint little garden, the empty swing, the shed. Then he entered the house.
Around a table sat people young and old, sharing stories. Memories. Remnants of souls wrung dry.

“I’m here because I can’t be anywhere else. Back there, all I think of is her, after she…she died. This is the only place I can sleep. I’ve been here so long…nothing matters anymore.” Grizzled old man, hands shaking.

“She filed for divorce. I got fed up of all the sympathy, the worried looks. Fuck that,” says another.

A photo thrown onto the table. The thrower sits in a corner, a seeming poster-child for the starved and the gender confused. “She killed herself.” Throaty voice, barely female. “She slit her wrists because her family wouldn’t let us be together. She just too the easy way out, didn’t she? Didn’t wonder what I’d have to do. What I can’t do.”

There is anger in the room. There is grief. There are memories, craved for, never to come back. There is yearning. There is love.
There is acceptance that comes only when you know everyone here’s hit bottom just as hard as you have.

He swings his bag to the floor and settles into a chair.

He’s home. 

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Extra points to you if you get the 'poster-child for the starved and the gender confused' reference.

Written...a few days after the last karaoke night. Possibly for someone I'll never actually show it to. 

6 comments:

The Pernicious One said...

I love this. It's beautiful.

Jack said...

Mystique,

Read pending posts. Rather saw photograph in the previous one, so good and apt heading. On this one, is she refering to non-acceptance of lesbian relationship? One really is at wits end when hit hard by something not expected or wanted.

Take care

The Nihilist said...

replace the he with a she and u just read my life.

Insignificant said...

This is really good!

thegirlwithoneheart said...

Awesome. Amazing read. Keep posting :)

Darius said...

Good stuff!