Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Love

I love love. I love what it does to people. Like him and her. Like my cynic and his girlfriend. Like V. (I even had to shorten her nickname. I really don't want an hour-long conversation about "why, why why why why must you do this to me)
I love what it does to people's faces, V with that face-splitting grin, Wheelie with that smile I once saw on her face....Sid when he talks about his girl, Rushi when he talks about Di, how their faces all light up with something beautiful and indescribable. How people refuse to see the faults in the other, how V cribs and complains when we tease her Boo.
I can see the smiles when they talk. Even if they're not in front of me. Even if it's an online chat.
I think I miss it, love.
I've been in love. I'm sure I smiled till my lips nearly tore. I know how happy I was, on the beach, singing, laughing, listening. I remember how I'd always hear "He's a jerk" and I'd always say "Of course he is!" (well, you are. still.).
I've seen...when people say "I love you", it seems to take something out of them. Like it's a big deal. Like it's a piece of their soul. It's never been like that for me. I say "I love you" a lot. To Kay, mom, Sneh, Rushi, Ani, Jan, Vagi, everyone. I throw the words around like chocolate wrappers. But I mean them. I do. I feel the love coursing though my veins. It's intense.
I was in love, yes, and I ruined it. I miss it. Being in love. Being loved. Not him, of course, I'll never miss him that way. He's always there. Always. What I miss, try to understand, is the feeling. The feeling I see on everyone's faces. The feeling that feels like the rest of this unfair world doesn't exist.
And the emptiness I sometimes feel when I see love, nothing seems to fill.

15 comments:

Espèra said...

There you go. I can't throw those words around unless I mean them. Really mean them.

Renovatio said...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Doncha worry, we'll find you a nice boy when you get to Bombay.

ki said...

Awww. *hug*

Sometimes love can be the driving force of our lives, it's that powerful. It makes us content, excied, sad, jumpy, crazy... all at once. But mys, it happens when it has to. Enjoy singledom, you may just miss it! ;) :P

Janani said...

oh my god.......wow

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Lazy Lavender said...

Pretty sure a major portion of the world relates to this.

"The feeling that feels like the rest of this unfair world doesn't
exist." - Can't convey that any better.

Good post, there!

wiseling said...

I guess it does that to you. Catches you unawares and turns your whole life upside down when you aren't paying attention. Its sneaky, love is..
And yes, it fills that emptiness, that we don't even realize we had sometimes, in ways that are hard to describe.
And as much love is lost in the past, there is always more. Always. And believe me, it'll find you when you least expect it.

And what you wrote is very sweet. I am rather overwhelmed. :)

Akshaya said...

Hey...honestly that is beautiful...your discription is beautiful.I couldn't help smiling while reading it!
luv ya :-)!

Jack said...

Mystique,

Love is a feeling or emotion beyond words. I have said so in one of my posts too.

I will really be delighted to have your views in my space.

Take care

Mystique said...

2 Espera: I know.

2 Reno: Doncha worry, I can find my own nice boys when I get to Bombay.

2 ki: Oh I know I'll miss it. DOn't get me wrong, I love being single.

2 Jan: wow what?

2 futuremantra: spam, spam.

2 lazy lav: thanks!

2 wiseling: you're right. and thanks.

2 Aksh: Huh. thanks :)

2 jack: I shall go look.

jai said...

I know the feeling. I miss it too. And I'm confident both of us, and anyone who's felt it and lost it, will regain it. There are two loves that would devastate me beyond recognition if I lose them. Anni and Art.

Also *giant hug*

Poison said...

Wow. I guess i want to know how it feels like too.
There are quite a few people who wiggle their fingers at me and make angry faces cause i say i don't believe in love. Well, i don't. Probably cause it doesn't exist for me or cause i haven't experienced it.
If its like what you say, i hope it does. I hope i get to feel it too.

Anki said...

i loved this n FB
u echo me

Mystique said...

2 jai: I still love my single un-loved life...

2 poison: you'll feel it. maybe sooner than later. but you'll feel it.

2 anki: haha. thanks.

Anuj said...

I guess I like to love people, it makes things better and happier doesn't it?